day five
You Are
It's early in the morning, and quiet except for the TV Steve has left on after watching the traffic report. I sit down with my coffee to watch the weather, wanting to pray for everyone travelling to Dallas for Passion this weekend.
The first image I see is a student with his bloodied head down, then a graphic of a man armed with a gun and rifle in a classroom, then an image of students gathered in a circle on a campus singing at sundown "How Great is our God."
"No," is all I can say. "No." I see the name of the campus, Northern Illinois University in Dekalb, at the bottom of the screen. I sit on my coffee table and just cry. All the sorrow and anger I've held onto all week comes out. Sleep was hard to come by last night, and as I asked God for a word to pray I kept seeing the policemen that are paid to be at our Sunday church services. The ones that now stand on the sides of the stage. That kind of image naturally lends itself to pray protection over everyone you care and pray for. Which for me is my family, a whole lot of college students, and their leaders.
I want to see every face on my TV screen, every college student. I want to pray. I want to understand. Behind me, there are little feet that are pounding down the stairs, joyful in their awakening on a day off from school. They run through the house with our puppy, blankets as capes as they take off on some imaginary mission.
I'm watching the TV, but I'm seeing the Sears Arena in Chicago filled with students. I'm reading their prayer cards and my heart is breaking. I don't hear the quiet in my house until I notice Syd is behind me and asks, "What is it mom?" And he's looking at the images of ambulances on the screen as I'm in the same moment standing and turning it off.
"It's sad," I say. I should say more but right now I don't have the words. And more than ever, I want to get to Dallas. I want to be with college students, I want to pray into this generation that is affecting the world, and I pray selfishly for how they will affect my sons' generation. I don't want them sitting in a filled classroom with a gun pointed at them. Crazy I would feel that way, right? I am so thankful for all the ministries on Illinois campuses and for how God used the Passion weekend. I am praying for spiritual mothers and fathers to invade that campus today.
I know the tears won't stop much today but they are tears that bring strength and resolve and hope. I will cry for a campus not far from where I grew up. What we reap in tears will be sowed in joy. God has promised. And that campus will know JOY as surely as the hearts that dwell there know the LORD.
His Spirit will fill my prayers all the way to Dallas as we pray for those students to be stirred, to be explosive in hearts of mercy and compassion for just their own campuses but for the campuses worldwide. They will want to do something, I can taste it. To follow joyfully, strongly, loudly down the warpath of the our Great Warrior King, holding shields high, anointed with His favor and blessing.
Give ear to my words, O LORD,
Consider my meditation.
Give heed to the voice of my cry,
My King and my God,
For to You I will pray.
My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD;
In the morning I will direct it to You,
And I will look up.
For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness,
Nor shall evil dwell with You.
The boastful shall not stand in Your sight;
You hate all workers of iniquity.
You shall destroy those who speak falsehood;
The LORD abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.
But as for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude of Your mercy;
In fear of You I will worship toward Your holy temple.
Lead me, O LORD, in Your righteousness because of my enemies;
Make Your way straight before my face.
For there is no faithfulness in their mouth;
Their inward part is destruction;
Their throat is an open tomb;
They flatter with their tongue.
Pronounce them guilty, O God!
Let them fall by their own counsels;
Cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions,
For they have rebelled against You.
But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You;
Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them;
Let those also who love Your name
Be joyful in You.
For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous;
With favor You will surround him as with a shield.
Psalm 5 (nkjv)
It's early in the morning, and quiet except for the TV Steve has left on after watching the traffic report. I sit down with my coffee to watch the weather, wanting to pray for everyone travelling to Dallas for Passion this weekend.
The first image I see is a student with his bloodied head down, then a graphic of a man armed with a gun and rifle in a classroom, then an image of students gathered in a circle on a campus singing at sundown "How Great is our God."
"No," is all I can say. "No." I see the name of the campus, Northern Illinois University in Dekalb, at the bottom of the screen. I sit on my coffee table and just cry. All the sorrow and anger I've held onto all week comes out. Sleep was hard to come by last night, and as I asked God for a word to pray I kept seeing the policemen that are paid to be at our Sunday church services. The ones that now stand on the sides of the stage. That kind of image naturally lends itself to pray protection over everyone you care and pray for. Which for me is my family, a whole lot of college students, and their leaders.
I want to see every face on my TV screen, every college student. I want to pray. I want to understand. Behind me, there are little feet that are pounding down the stairs, joyful in their awakening on a day off from school. They run through the house with our puppy, blankets as capes as they take off on some imaginary mission.
I'm watching the TV, but I'm seeing the Sears Arena in Chicago filled with students. I'm reading their prayer cards and my heart is breaking. I don't hear the quiet in my house until I notice Syd is behind me and asks, "What is it mom?" And he's looking at the images of ambulances on the screen as I'm in the same moment standing and turning it off.
"It's sad," I say. I should say more but right now I don't have the words. And more than ever, I want to get to Dallas. I want to be with college students, I want to pray into this generation that is affecting the world, and I pray selfishly for how they will affect my sons' generation. I don't want them sitting in a filled classroom with a gun pointed at them. Crazy I would feel that way, right? I am so thankful for all the ministries on Illinois campuses and for how God used the Passion weekend. I am praying for spiritual mothers and fathers to invade that campus today.
I know the tears won't stop much today but they are tears that bring strength and resolve and hope. I will cry for a campus not far from where I grew up. What we reap in tears will be sowed in joy. God has promised. And that campus will know JOY as surely as the hearts that dwell there know the LORD.
His Spirit will fill my prayers all the way to Dallas as we pray for those students to be stirred, to be explosive in hearts of mercy and compassion for just their own campuses but for the campuses worldwide. They will want to do something, I can taste it. To follow joyfully, strongly, loudly down the warpath of the our Great Warrior King, holding shields high, anointed with His favor and blessing.
Give ear to my words, O LORD,
Consider my meditation.
Give heed to the voice of my cry,
My King and my God,
For to You I will pray.
My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD;
In the morning I will direct it to You,
And I will look up.
For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness,
Nor shall evil dwell with You.
The boastful shall not stand in Your sight;
You hate all workers of iniquity.
You shall destroy those who speak falsehood;
The LORD abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.
But as for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude of Your mercy;
In fear of You I will worship toward Your holy temple.
Lead me, O LORD, in Your righteousness because of my enemies;
Make Your way straight before my face.
For there is no faithfulness in their mouth;
Their inward part is destruction;
Their throat is an open tomb;
They flatter with their tongue.
Pronounce them guilty, O God!
Let them fall by their own counsels;
Cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions,
For they have rebelled against You.
But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You;
Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them;
Let those also who love Your name
Be joyful in You.
For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous;
With favor You will surround him as with a shield.
Psalm 5 (nkjv)