He turns His face to me
What a friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers
Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, friend forever
What a hope I've found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other
lyrics from What a friend I've found, Delirious
I always hesitate to write about my brother who is in prison; I don't want to make anyone sad and I only want God to be glorified in what's going on with him. So God be glorified please.
I am probably going to see him soon. But things could change. Lockdowns happen a lot. I haven't seen him since May. I want to see him. I want to try to make him laugh. I want to sing worship songs he doesn't know until he complains about my singing and tells me to stop.
My other visits with him were spent in constant prayer. I can't imagine not knowing the Lord and going through this. I pray going, waiting, while I talk with him, as I leave. Even if it weren't my own brother, the atmosphere is so grueling. I want everyone to know His mercy. I feel His angels closing in and I understand why prison ministry is so attractive to those who know His heartbeat. The Lord is SO for it.
I miss my brother. I can't call him after an episode of the Office. It's the stupid things I miss. Christmas was peaceful, we were so lifted up by those praying for us. Thank you! But just when I thought I had gotten through, I cried hard taking down all our decorations, the reality setting in that he wasn't here for any of it. His children all had their birthdays in January. He should have been here. I'm so angry at him and then I am just so sad.
But that's all from my little human perspective. And it is pretty small.
You can beg God to answer your prayers. There are a lot of reasons He doesn't answer the way you want Him to. I remember almost 2 years ago when my brother told me that he had asked God to do whatever would glorify Him most, to just use him. That was after I told him (again) I didn't think he was going to prison. I hung up the phone and cried. I knew his absolute surrender to God superseded any prayer any of us prayed to keep him out of prison. I really believe that. He knew he was going. He needed to go, not only for the consequence of his sins, but so that the Lord could be glorified most in the situation.
And He is. The spiritual connection between my brother and his family is unreal. Supernatural is the only word for it. They miss each other terribly, there is lots of pain, but they are still a family. God is glorified in that. God is glorified in my brother's worship of Him in prison. He is glorified by my niece's prayers and compassion. God is glorified by my brother's sons going hard after Him at such a young age. He is glorified by a wife who tirelessly visits her husband every week in prison, and so much more.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, or dissatisfied with my life, I think of my brother's words to me to cherish my freedom. And I do. I have so much freedom - not only in the world but SO much more in Christ. I have freedom to live anywhere I pretty much want, worship how I want. Freedom to eat whatever, hang with whoever I feel like. I can touch my boys hair, kiss their cheek. When life gets overwhelming, I can light a candle, open my Bible and pour out my heart. My brother can do those last two things, praise the LORD!!! That is true Freedom.
If you are praying for my brother, and I know so many of you are, please pray he would have a true believer in prison with him. Right now as far as I know he has no one. We grumble over community and how hard it is to find the right group within our church, our neighborhood. My brother trying to find just one to truly fellowship with puts it in perspective for me. I live with 3 believers.
Please pray he would get out soon. I want what glorifies God most. But I also want my brother back soon and I won't stop asking Jesus for that. I want that so much for his children, his wife.
Jesus hears my voice, He turns His face to me. I know He sees me and considers me, my requests. And I will always trust and rest in the answers of the One I love so much.
The righteous cry out,
and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out
of all their troubles.
Psalm 34:17
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers
Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, friend forever
What a hope I've found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other
lyrics from What a friend I've found, Delirious
I always hesitate to write about my brother who is in prison; I don't want to make anyone sad and I only want God to be glorified in what's going on with him. So God be glorified please.
I am probably going to see him soon. But things could change. Lockdowns happen a lot. I haven't seen him since May. I want to see him. I want to try to make him laugh. I want to sing worship songs he doesn't know until he complains about my singing and tells me to stop.
My other visits with him were spent in constant prayer. I can't imagine not knowing the Lord and going through this. I pray going, waiting, while I talk with him, as I leave. Even if it weren't my own brother, the atmosphere is so grueling. I want everyone to know His mercy. I feel His angels closing in and I understand why prison ministry is so attractive to those who know His heartbeat. The Lord is SO for it.
I miss my brother. I can't call him after an episode of the Office. It's the stupid things I miss. Christmas was peaceful, we were so lifted up by those praying for us. Thank you! But just when I thought I had gotten through, I cried hard taking down all our decorations, the reality setting in that he wasn't here for any of it. His children all had their birthdays in January. He should have been here. I'm so angry at him and then I am just so sad.
But that's all from my little human perspective. And it is pretty small.
You can beg God to answer your prayers. There are a lot of reasons He doesn't answer the way you want Him to. I remember almost 2 years ago when my brother told me that he had asked God to do whatever would glorify Him most, to just use him. That was after I told him (again) I didn't think he was going to prison. I hung up the phone and cried. I knew his absolute surrender to God superseded any prayer any of us prayed to keep him out of prison. I really believe that. He knew he was going. He needed to go, not only for the consequence of his sins, but so that the Lord could be glorified most in the situation.
And He is. The spiritual connection between my brother and his family is unreal. Supernatural is the only word for it. They miss each other terribly, there is lots of pain, but they are still a family. God is glorified in that. God is glorified in my brother's worship of Him in prison. He is glorified by my niece's prayers and compassion. God is glorified by my brother's sons going hard after Him at such a young age. He is glorified by a wife who tirelessly visits her husband every week in prison, and so much more.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, or dissatisfied with my life, I think of my brother's words to me to cherish my freedom. And I do. I have so much freedom - not only in the world but SO much more in Christ. I have freedom to live anywhere I pretty much want, worship how I want. Freedom to eat whatever, hang with whoever I feel like. I can touch my boys hair, kiss their cheek. When life gets overwhelming, I can light a candle, open my Bible and pour out my heart. My brother can do those last two things, praise the LORD!!! That is true Freedom.
If you are praying for my brother, and I know so many of you are, please pray he would have a true believer in prison with him. Right now as far as I know he has no one. We grumble over community and how hard it is to find the right group within our church, our neighborhood. My brother trying to find just one to truly fellowship with puts it in perspective for me. I live with 3 believers.
Please pray he would get out soon. I want what glorifies God most. But I also want my brother back soon and I won't stop asking Jesus for that. I want that so much for his children, his wife.
Jesus hears my voice, He turns His face to me. I know He sees me and considers me, my requests. And I will always trust and rest in the answers of the One I love so much.
The righteous cry out,
and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out
of all their troubles.
Psalm 34:17