let the rain keep falling

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,... Psalm 33:18

"Do you guys believe in spiritual warfare? Like that there are things going on in this room that you and I don't see?"

Those were the opening words from a recent sermon by Francis Chan, and I immediately started crying this afternoon as I heard them. You know you are in the storm, when the relief you feel from someone else acknowledging there is a battle brings you to tears.

Few people encourage me like Francis Chan. And this is not about naming all the people who do...I'm not a big podcast follower but isn't it great how the Lord sends the encouragement when we ask for it? I'll take whatever He wants to give.

A letter from my brother in prison with godly wisdom encourages me just as much as words from a well-known pastor. It's about encouraging one another, lifting one another up in this battle.

2008 has been a really rough year. I haven't felt like myself. I have had a whole lot of good reasons to not have felt like myself, to not rejoice. I didn't smile a whole lot this year. I had trouble getting out of bed, much less doing ministry. When I did try to minister, the Lord was gracious enough to use me, but I could have probably better spent the time letting the Lord heal my wounds.

But it doesn't mean I don't have joy. It's doesn't mean I don't know how much the Lord loves me. I feel His love, a lot. He is what makes me cry, He is the one who always sends relief in the battle. He is the only one.

There is such a battle over this generation. That can't be said enough. Satan does want to divide and conquer. But we do a pretty good job of that out of our own pride and flesh. We offend. Our love grows cold. We judge. We limit. We listen to a lot of sermons, get convicted and then we go back to life as we know it. I know I do. We don't have time to change because we are too busy studying and visioning and strategizing whatever our role is in the Kingdom. Teaching, preaching, teaching, praying, worship leading, evangelizing. We are all guilty of it.

We hurt each other. And we'll do it again. And again. And we get to the point where the secular world looks much more attractive...not because of the sin, but because we see the loving relationships we don't see in the church anymore.

Or am I the only one? I know it's got to be happening all over.

Last night I connected to a live webcast Louie Giglio was doing to launch Passion 2010. At one point, Louie began to talk to the students watching, and to the ones in the room with him. He said something to the effect of "Do you ever feel like that thing you have prayed for is never going to happen?" I began to cry at that point because I knew the Lord was also speaking to me. Hope, he was whispering. I still give out hope. "At least there is hope for a tree: If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots will not fail." Job 14:7

I'm not going to get into why it's been such a rough year, personally and in ministry. The Lord knows and the people who need to know, know. And if you read my blog regularly, you know WAY more than you probably wanted to.

But thank you Francis Chan for sharing you've had a couple of bad days. For being real and expressing how done you want to be when you get attacked. That you need prayer in those days. For those of us who had a 2008 that tanked, it's encouragement from the Lord.