indiana jones, a dozen roses and a crush
It's early Thursday morning of last week and the boys and I are at the Kyle HEB to get Ben's teacher some flowers for her birthday. It's also Valentine's party day, which for Ben means awesome Indiana Jones valentines for classmates, and for Syd, more discreet little heart candy boxes that aren't too kiddie, but won't be misinterpreted as meaning anything more than "here's a box of candy". Fifth grade. Neutral ground about to give way to hormone ground.
I'm thinking we will get Ben's teacher a little bud vase of daisies. But Ben is looking at the dozen roses. "Let's get her these," he says, smelling a bunch of roses in the color Steve always buys for me. "Oh," he says looking at the jacked-up price of roses. "Probably too much."
"You know what?" I say to him. "Let's get them for her. She'll love them."
"Yeah," he says, brightening, as he reaches up with his little hand, his hand that is almost as big as mine, and pulls them out of the holder.
I watch his lumbering walk into the school carrying his dozen roses in one hand low like a football, valentines in the other, bright yellow backpack in tow. My heart hurts and I know I won't forget that image easily. His head is down, shyness is coming on. I see the coach tease him over the flowers and watch Ben wrinkle his nose at him,ignoring him. I hear later of how he gives them to his teacher and tells her "Happy Valentine's Day" instead of "Happy Birthday." He barely ever talks to her, but I know he adores her.
A few hours later Syd and I are talking. "You would tell me if you had a crush on a girl, wouldn't you?" I say. I have to convince him I won't tell his secret. I find out he does have a crush. And it's not Susan from Narnia. I am sworn to secrecy and can't say anymore.
My boys are growing up. I'm not ready for this. The age of not liking girls is coming to an end and I'm not sure I'm okay with that. I'm not ready to read the books on talking to your kids about sex and dating. Steve is reading them, praise the Lord. But I'm already on my knees praying for their purity, for God to intervene in their lives and lead them to their wives if they should ever marry.
I'm thinking we will get Ben's teacher a little bud vase of daisies. But Ben is looking at the dozen roses. "Let's get her these," he says, smelling a bunch of roses in the color Steve always buys for me. "Oh," he says looking at the jacked-up price of roses. "Probably too much."
"You know what?" I say to him. "Let's get them for her. She'll love them."
"Yeah," he says, brightening, as he reaches up with his little hand, his hand that is almost as big as mine, and pulls them out of the holder.
I watch his lumbering walk into the school carrying his dozen roses in one hand low like a football, valentines in the other, bright yellow backpack in tow. My heart hurts and I know I won't forget that image easily. His head is down, shyness is coming on. I see the coach tease him over the flowers and watch Ben wrinkle his nose at him,ignoring him. I hear later of how he gives them to his teacher and tells her "Happy Valentine's Day" instead of "Happy Birthday." He barely ever talks to her, but I know he adores her.
A few hours later Syd and I are talking. "You would tell me if you had a crush on a girl, wouldn't you?" I say. I have to convince him I won't tell his secret. I find out he does have a crush. And it's not Susan from Narnia. I am sworn to secrecy and can't say anymore.
My boys are growing up. I'm not ready for this. The age of not liking girls is coming to an end and I'm not sure I'm okay with that. I'm not ready to read the books on talking to your kids about sex and dating. Steve is reading them, praise the Lord. But I'm already on my knees praying for their purity, for God to intervene in their lives and lead them to their wives if they should ever marry.