the intimacy of forgiveness
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34
The following is an excerpt from a chapter on the intimacy of forgiveness, from the book Prison Ministry by Lennie Spitale.
"True forgiveness is an elusive quarry; the painful emotions keep returning. Emotions do not reason; they react. They do not rationalize; they are triggered.
Many of us realize that while we may have verbalized a commitment to forgive, we still experience deep hurt and anger whenever we think about that certain incident or individual. The result is that we feel we have failed as Christians and failed at forgiveness. I believe the problem lies not so much in our Christian desire to forgive as it does in the inability to separate what we are feeling from what we believe.
Just because a person still finds himself experiencing deep feelings of hurt, doesn't mean that the commitment to forgive wasn't sincere.
But what to do with those emotions? Where do I bring them? How do I handle the recurring pain? The answer is, we take them to the cross. But what does that mean?
When I realized that part of the process of forgiveness was to absorb the pain of the personal hurt I was feeling - and I suddenly realized that I was sharing, in a very small way, what Jesus had experienced at the cross. The cost of forgiveness was that he agreed to absorb the pain.
The pain of my own injury had caused me to travel the pathway his own heart had traveled. The forgiveness I was choosing to extend for that slight injury was, in a very small way, closely related to that great act of love- Christ at the cross. I was sharing an intimacy with Christ that could only be gained through the pain of forgiveness.
This doesn't make the pain go away immediately, because the pain is, in itself, the way into intimacy. It is the emotional turmoil itself that we bring to Christ and share with him. And in the process we experience something deeply sweet and spiritual. In the holy recesses of that secret place, we discover that although the Via Dolorosa is paved with thorns, we find him there.
And even if the person you have chosen to forgive never accepts it or even cares, it doesn't matter. Jesus understands. He's been there. He is there still. And he will wait for you."
The following is an excerpt from a chapter on the intimacy of forgiveness, from the book Prison Ministry by Lennie Spitale.
"True forgiveness is an elusive quarry; the painful emotions keep returning. Emotions do not reason; they react. They do not rationalize; they are triggered.
Many of us realize that while we may have verbalized a commitment to forgive, we still experience deep hurt and anger whenever we think about that certain incident or individual. The result is that we feel we have failed as Christians and failed at forgiveness. I believe the problem lies not so much in our Christian desire to forgive as it does in the inability to separate what we are feeling from what we believe.
Just because a person still finds himself experiencing deep feelings of hurt, doesn't mean that the commitment to forgive wasn't sincere.
But what to do with those emotions? Where do I bring them? How do I handle the recurring pain? The answer is, we take them to the cross. But what does that mean?
When I realized that part of the process of forgiveness was to absorb the pain of the personal hurt I was feeling - and I suddenly realized that I was sharing, in a very small way, what Jesus had experienced at the cross. The cost of forgiveness was that he agreed to absorb the pain.
The pain of my own injury had caused me to travel the pathway his own heart had traveled. The forgiveness I was choosing to extend for that slight injury was, in a very small way, closely related to that great act of love- Christ at the cross. I was sharing an intimacy with Christ that could only be gained through the pain of forgiveness.
This doesn't make the pain go away immediately, because the pain is, in itself, the way into intimacy. It is the emotional turmoil itself that we bring to Christ and share with him. And in the process we experience something deeply sweet and spiritual. In the holy recesses of that secret place, we discover that although the Via Dolorosa is paved with thorns, we find him there.
And even if the person you have chosen to forgive never accepts it or even cares, it doesn't matter. Jesus understands. He's been there. He is there still. And he will wait for you."