God is mostly glad
One of my favorite gifts given to me on my birthday was a scrapbook my mom made chronicling my 40 years, through her eyes. I see where I get my sarcastic sense of humor as I gaze upon a photo of a friend and I in high school, with our MTV-style make-up, including blue lips. Instead of a normal caption that might read "Best friends Anne and Jodi" she writes "Maybe deliverance was needed".
She also included in the book my 8th-grade term paper, entitled: Gloria Vanderbilt: Her Life, Her Make-up, Her Clothes and Her Designs. No covering of the nuclear war for me, I went straight for the important things in life. Inside are such tips as "when Gloria wants to freshen up she puts her heels in cold water for a few minutes." Who are you? I'm thinking as I read what I've written. What makes me laugh harder is to think of my eighth grade teacher, Donald Rohde, having to read all this fashion advice. I also chronicle Gloria's multiple marriages, but end with this statement- "Friends of Gloria said she had great warmth...she always put others before herself." Here my teacher has pencilled in "except her husbands". God love him, I'm so thankful I had him as my Jesus-loving teacher.
In closing, I wrote "using the information in this paper and being happy in everything that you do will make you a beautiful person inside and out." Seriously. It's scary to think that Gloria Vanderbilt had that much influence on me in the 8th grade, but really, when I think about it, how much have things changed? You can buy Gloria's clothes at Kohl's now, but back in 1981, she was pretty much it for designer jeans, along with Izod polos and Bass weejuns. At least in the booming metropolis of Springfield, Illinois.
As Matt was preaching yesterday on the refreshment that comes in the manifest presence of God, I started thinking of all the things that can quench that refreshing. When we fall on hard times, yes, but how about during the times when things are really great? Beth Moore refers to the Babylonians as being in 'friendly captivity' in her Daniel bible study - they were really comfortable, thriving in their world of materialism and comfort. Am I there? Am I a 'friendly captive' of the enemy?
When I turned 40, I made a lot of requests to God, because I think birthdays are a good time for that. I asked him to reveal to me everything that was holding me apart from him and then to get rid of it. Every lie I believed about myself. Every word that had been spoken over me that was not true, that limited what He wanted to do through me. One amazing thing He revealed that I can share is that I didn't really believe He was glad most of the time, that He loved me all of the time.
I read this statement in Mike Bickle's book "After God's Own Heart": You will never enjoy God more than when you experience His enjoyment of you in your weakness. But when you do see that He enjoys you in weakness, then you bear fruit. You begin to enjoy God all the time. Your heart responds in affection. I could not get past that statement. I had never believed God enjoyed me in my weakness. I really cried over this realization. And I know I'm not alone in missing this. How many of us picture God as mostly sad, mostly angry, mostly shaking His head in disappointment? I mean it just kills me how many Christians view God this way. I am sad for them. God is mostly glad!
One of my biggest struggles is in trusting God that He uses me to encourage people. I know He uses my prayers, because those come from Him. But how could He possibly use me, Anne, girl who gleans wisdom from Gloria Vanderbilt, to have anything encouraging for others? I am weak, and I did picture God just shaking his head, wondering when I was going to put down that Us magazine and read my Bible. It didn't matter that I'm burdened for Owen Wilson, I just saw him as someone upset with me for not pursuing holiness. As if we can make ourselves love harder, become holier, as if it's up to us.
If God can enjoy me in my weakness and cause me to bear fruit in the knowledge of his enjoyment of me, I have to trust that He is using me. And I have to also trust that if He is not using me, that He still enjoys me. I mean, that is just huge for me. So I pray for all of you, that you hear from God how much He enjoys you. All the time. That you will enter into His joy and happiness in you.
The LORD your God will make you abound in all the work of your hand... For the LORD will again rejoice over you for good as He rejoiced over your fathers" Deut. 30:9
She also included in the book my 8th-grade term paper, entitled: Gloria Vanderbilt: Her Life, Her Make-up, Her Clothes and Her Designs. No covering of the nuclear war for me, I went straight for the important things in life. Inside are such tips as "when Gloria wants to freshen up she puts her heels in cold water for a few minutes." Who are you? I'm thinking as I read what I've written. What makes me laugh harder is to think of my eighth grade teacher, Donald Rohde, having to read all this fashion advice. I also chronicle Gloria's multiple marriages, but end with this statement- "Friends of Gloria said she had great warmth...she always put others before herself." Here my teacher has pencilled in "except her husbands". God love him, I'm so thankful I had him as my Jesus-loving teacher.
In closing, I wrote "using the information in this paper and being happy in everything that you do will make you a beautiful person inside and out." Seriously. It's scary to think that Gloria Vanderbilt had that much influence on me in the 8th grade, but really, when I think about it, how much have things changed? You can buy Gloria's clothes at Kohl's now, but back in 1981, she was pretty much it for designer jeans, along with Izod polos and Bass weejuns. At least in the booming metropolis of Springfield, Illinois.
As Matt was preaching yesterday on the refreshment that comes in the manifest presence of God, I started thinking of all the things that can quench that refreshing. When we fall on hard times, yes, but how about during the times when things are really great? Beth Moore refers to the Babylonians as being in 'friendly captivity' in her Daniel bible study - they were really comfortable, thriving in their world of materialism and comfort. Am I there? Am I a 'friendly captive' of the enemy?
When I turned 40, I made a lot of requests to God, because I think birthdays are a good time for that. I asked him to reveal to me everything that was holding me apart from him and then to get rid of it. Every lie I believed about myself. Every word that had been spoken over me that was not true, that limited what He wanted to do through me. One amazing thing He revealed that I can share is that I didn't really believe He was glad most of the time, that He loved me all of the time.
I read this statement in Mike Bickle's book "After God's Own Heart": You will never enjoy God more than when you experience His enjoyment of you in your weakness. But when you do see that He enjoys you in weakness, then you bear fruit. You begin to enjoy God all the time. Your heart responds in affection. I could not get past that statement. I had never believed God enjoyed me in my weakness. I really cried over this realization. And I know I'm not alone in missing this. How many of us picture God as mostly sad, mostly angry, mostly shaking His head in disappointment? I mean it just kills me how many Christians view God this way. I am sad for them. God is mostly glad!
One of my biggest struggles is in trusting God that He uses me to encourage people. I know He uses my prayers, because those come from Him. But how could He possibly use me, Anne, girl who gleans wisdom from Gloria Vanderbilt, to have anything encouraging for others? I am weak, and I did picture God just shaking his head, wondering when I was going to put down that Us magazine and read my Bible. It didn't matter that I'm burdened for Owen Wilson, I just saw him as someone upset with me for not pursuing holiness. As if we can make ourselves love harder, become holier, as if it's up to us.
If God can enjoy me in my weakness and cause me to bear fruit in the knowledge of his enjoyment of me, I have to trust that He is using me. And I have to also trust that if He is not using me, that He still enjoys me. I mean, that is just huge for me. So I pray for all of you, that you hear from God how much He enjoys you. All the time. That you will enter into His joy and happiness in you.
The LORD your God will make you abound in all the work of your hand... For the LORD will again rejoice over you for good as He rejoiced over your fathers" Deut. 30:9