juneteenth!

Our beloved Chief of Police, Art Acevedo,

at the Juneteenth parade. I really do love policemen.

It's 9 a.m. and I'm at 12th and Chicon where there are huge barricades with policemen standing nearby. It's Juneteenth and I deduct that there is a parade coming down this main street, a block from Imagine Art. I want through the barricades and pull in front of an idle city bus. The driver honks at me and a policeman motions for me to turn around. I give him my best "what?" through the window as I turn around. My sunroof is open and I roll down my window and crank up some worship music, to show him what a good Christian I am and he should have let me through.

We will wait upon the Lord...we will wait upon the Lord.

I'm driving down the side streets, trying to find a back way to work. Everything is barricaded off at this point. I'm almost through the whole See the Morning album and my mood is definitely not worshipful, even though the neighborhood is benefitting from the sounds of worship coming from my car.

I see another policeman and pull over to ask him how I can get to Poquito. He says, "Oh, just ask the policemen there to let you through the barricade."

"I tried that," I tell him.

"Did you get out of your car and talk to him?" he says.

"Well, no..." I say. I'm thinking, yeah like I'm going to leave my new SUV in the middle of the road to get hit by some renegade city bus.

"Nevermind," I say to the policeman as I back up, "I'll just go somewhere else for two hours. I don't need to go to work." My sarcasm isn't missed on him.

"Wait," he says, "I'll radio over and have them let you through."

He's my hero again. "Thank you so much," I say.

I drive back to 12th and Chicon. I wave at the policemen there, like they should be expecting me. They recognize me from before, when I went around the city bus. They make a face at me and give me the motion again to turn around, this time not as nice as before. I shake my head at them and realize the other cop didn't radio them. Oh. I'm. so. mad.

I call work. Jennifer answers, and sounds happy. She's always happy. "How did you get in?" I ask. She starts explaining and it's a way I've already tried that is now blocked off. I cut her off mid-sentence and ask for Debbie. "Hey," she says, "go up to Chestnut, you can drive around the barricade there - that's what I did." She's laughing at my frustration. "Stop at Chilito's and have a coffee. Breathe."

"I don't want coffee. I hate policemen! Freakin' Juneteenth!" Yes I did say that. I hang up.

I drive all the way back to I-35 to Manor Road and finally get to Imagine Art. This time as I approach the barricade from our side of the road, I give the police -who can't see me but I know are just over the hill- a big raspberry. There is probably still worship music playing in my car but I don't notice it.

I'm still making noise about it all when I get in the house and Michael is having to listen to it in the kitchen. I pour myself a cup of coffee in a mug that is leaking and coffee goes all over my white skirt. I hear God saying, "you ain't all that!" I am the self-righteous woman of the moment. I just have to laugh at myself.

Later Debbie and I are talking about going to prayer meetings, how you never want to show up grumpy and you are always so thankful when you can achieve that. I wish this morning I could have taken advantage of all the streets being closed to just park my car and prayer walk. There were people everywhere waiting for the parade. But I was too angry, too wanting my own way.

Juneteenth. The day that celebrates slavery emancipation. I want to be FREE. I'm getting there, step by precious step. What is it that holds you back from being all that God made you to be? Are you getting free?

Bless the LORD, O my soul,

And forget not His benefits;

Who forgives all your iniquities,

Who heals all your diseases.

Psalm 103:2-3