anger 101, part one
When I was in college I dated a guy who made me really angry. Actually, I think I had unresolved anger waaaay before I met him, but he got the brunt of my anger. When I felt betrayed by him, in my anger I did mature things like stick a banana in his car's tail pipe, replaced his cologne with water, and ripped up his Rolling Stones tape cassettes. (I know I am dating myself with that one.) I don't watch the People's Court, but I probably could have been on it.
God doesn't tell us not to be angry. But He does tell us not to sin in our anger. I don't know about you, but I learned somewhere along the line in our Christian culture that all anger was bad. And that's not the case. If you become destructive with it, like I was, then you have a problem on your hands. But anger is not bad in itself and will always be a part of our lives on this planet. Jesus storming the temple; a perfect example of righteous anger.
I see a pretty great counselor from time to time. If you loved the movie "The King's Speech", you would like my therapist. It's work to see her, not really fun times, although we do laugh. But my time with her produces results. And she encourages me. It's always nice to have someone who will tell you that you are not psychotic, who actually knows what they are talking about. But I digress.
One of the things she taught me about anger is an acronym to find the feelings behind your anger. I don't always know why I'm angry, I'm just not that in touch with my feelings. Using this acronym gives me information about my anger, if I remember to use it. It's GIFT....G for guilt, I for inferiority, F for fear and T for trauma or hurt. Anger might come from all of those feelings, or one or two.
Although it helps to know where your anger is coming from, you need to know what to do with it. Writing helps me. My journal gets to hear a lot of anger. I've learned to journal rather than to email my anger, which usually isn't helpful to either party.
And I trust for God to heal me as I discern what I'm so angry about. I don't just "give" my anger to God and expect him to sweep it under the rug. But I know He'll walk with me through the hurt, the fear, or whatever it is I need to walk through and He will bring me to the other side.
"Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry - but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge." The Message, from Ephesians 4:26
Part 2: Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Stay tuned.
God doesn't tell us not to be angry. But He does tell us not to sin in our anger. I don't know about you, but I learned somewhere along the line in our Christian culture that all anger was bad. And that's not the case. If you become destructive with it, like I was, then you have a problem on your hands. But anger is not bad in itself and will always be a part of our lives on this planet. Jesus storming the temple; a perfect example of righteous anger.
I see a pretty great counselor from time to time. If you loved the movie "The King's Speech", you would like my therapist. It's work to see her, not really fun times, although we do laugh. But my time with her produces results. And she encourages me. It's always nice to have someone who will tell you that you are not psychotic, who actually knows what they are talking about. But I digress.
One of the things she taught me about anger is an acronym to find the feelings behind your anger. I don't always know why I'm angry, I'm just not that in touch with my feelings. Using this acronym gives me information about my anger, if I remember to use it. It's GIFT....G for guilt, I for inferiority, F for fear and T for trauma or hurt. Anger might come from all of those feelings, or one or two.
Although it helps to know where your anger is coming from, you need to know what to do with it. Writing helps me. My journal gets to hear a lot of anger. I've learned to journal rather than to email my anger, which usually isn't helpful to either party.
And I trust for God to heal me as I discern what I'm so angry about. I don't just "give" my anger to God and expect him to sweep it under the rug. But I know He'll walk with me through the hurt, the fear, or whatever it is I need to walk through and He will bring me to the other side.
"Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry - but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge." The Message, from Ephesians 4:26
Part 2: Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Stay tuned.