let perseverance finish its work
As I thought about what I wanted to write about this week, there are several things I am so thanking God for. Our son Syd was baptized Saturday surrounded by his loving church family. Our son Ben was given the green light to go to first grade next year. I also saw God answer some other prayers amazingly. A week of joy, a week of thanking Him for his faithfulness.
Some would be funny stories to tell, and I will tell them. But the truth is, when I get alone with Jesus, the truth is that the tears still come, my heart is still heavy, still for the students of Virginia Tech. As I eat candy and watch movies with my boys on Friday night, I think of the families who were planning summer vacations that are now tending grave sites. I pray for the students still on campus who are wondering if it's okay to smile again. I ask Jesus to be with the students who walk past blood-stained sidewalks, who are trying to process their grief or maybe lack of it. Who don't know that Jesus is wanting desperately to be a part of their lives. I'm asking Him to keep the Christians on that campus on fire for him. To make them a great army with arms that reach out across our nation.
I read of the stone memorials for the 32 victims, and how a 33rd stone was set out for Cho, the young gunman. How the stone was put out, then removed, then a different one set out for him. I wept again, as these students struggle back and forth with forgiving and hating this student in their college family. I weep because forgiveness won out. Thank you Jesus. What a huge victory in prayer.
I find myself wondering if any of the victims ever came to a passion gathering, if I have ever prayed specifically for any of them. But I have prayed for the college students of this nation, I have prayed for them with the heart of a parent. And my heart is heavy because I know even though the outcome was extreme, there are many other college students living in the kind of darkness Cho was. Many quietly take their life, many quietly leave campuses and become homeless, entering a cycle of addiction, mental hospitals, prison and then out on the streets again. Austin has it's share of these souls. I have met them. I have prayed with them.
This week, I am talking to a friend in a different situation, but alike in that it is more than she can bear. She tells me, "I told God, I don't want to worship you anymore. I'm tired of this being about your glory." It did not surprise me and I'm sure it didn't surprise God, who knows our heart before we can even express it.
It's in these moments we have to choose. Do we choose to love God with our whole heart, soul and body? Do we choose to love him even when he does not immediately rescue us, in the way we want to be rescued? And I'm not talking about a small injury, but a heart ripping pain that leaves us crying out to him over and over. Do we choose to love when the risk for rejection is high, maybe even probable? Do we choose to love God when everything else as we know it has been ripped away?
When someone is at that kind of crossroads, there really are no words. But there is prayer. I know this. And I trust Jesus with everything in me. After I have picked myself up off the floor, I may not see the heavens open wide and angels running to my side, but I have the utmost confidence that He loves me, and that He has heard my prayer. He is closer than a brother and every sound I utter, every tear I cry, He holds onto. We hear nothing but silence, we see no action. Daily life goes on. But in the supernatural, a fierce wind is blowing, demons are trembling, angels are throwing down lightning, and Jesus is yelling his warcry. Make no mistake about it.
Far from Virginia Tech, in a little quarry in Austin, Steve and I watch as Syd shares these words from James just before he is baptized. There is a joy on his face that I pray will endure the storms of his life. And I pray these verses for college students whose faces I don't know but whose hearts I love.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6
Some would be funny stories to tell, and I will tell them. But the truth is, when I get alone with Jesus, the truth is that the tears still come, my heart is still heavy, still for the students of Virginia Tech. As I eat candy and watch movies with my boys on Friday night, I think of the families who were planning summer vacations that are now tending grave sites. I pray for the students still on campus who are wondering if it's okay to smile again. I ask Jesus to be with the students who walk past blood-stained sidewalks, who are trying to process their grief or maybe lack of it. Who don't know that Jesus is wanting desperately to be a part of their lives. I'm asking Him to keep the Christians on that campus on fire for him. To make them a great army with arms that reach out across our nation.
I read of the stone memorials for the 32 victims, and how a 33rd stone was set out for Cho, the young gunman. How the stone was put out, then removed, then a different one set out for him. I wept again, as these students struggle back and forth with forgiving and hating this student in their college family. I weep because forgiveness won out. Thank you Jesus. What a huge victory in prayer.
I find myself wondering if any of the victims ever came to a passion gathering, if I have ever prayed specifically for any of them. But I have prayed for the college students of this nation, I have prayed for them with the heart of a parent. And my heart is heavy because I know even though the outcome was extreme, there are many other college students living in the kind of darkness Cho was. Many quietly take their life, many quietly leave campuses and become homeless, entering a cycle of addiction, mental hospitals, prison and then out on the streets again. Austin has it's share of these souls. I have met them. I have prayed with them.
This week, I am talking to a friend in a different situation, but alike in that it is more than she can bear. She tells me, "I told God, I don't want to worship you anymore. I'm tired of this being about your glory." It did not surprise me and I'm sure it didn't surprise God, who knows our heart before we can even express it.
It's in these moments we have to choose. Do we choose to love God with our whole heart, soul and body? Do we choose to love him even when he does not immediately rescue us, in the way we want to be rescued? And I'm not talking about a small injury, but a heart ripping pain that leaves us crying out to him over and over. Do we choose to love when the risk for rejection is high, maybe even probable? Do we choose to love God when everything else as we know it has been ripped away?
When someone is at that kind of crossroads, there really are no words. But there is prayer. I know this. And I trust Jesus with everything in me. After I have picked myself up off the floor, I may not see the heavens open wide and angels running to my side, but I have the utmost confidence that He loves me, and that He has heard my prayer. He is closer than a brother and every sound I utter, every tear I cry, He holds onto. We hear nothing but silence, we see no action. Daily life goes on. But in the supernatural, a fierce wind is blowing, demons are trembling, angels are throwing down lightning, and Jesus is yelling his warcry. Make no mistake about it.
Far from Virginia Tech, in a little quarry in Austin, Steve and I watch as Syd shares these words from James just before he is baptized. There is a joy on his face that I pray will endure the storms of his life. And I pray these verses for college students whose faces I don't know but whose hearts I love.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6