decisions, decisions
While Syd is upstairs playing the electronic drums, I am downstairs on the computer privately plotting his life. I have just added to the laptop favorites bar:
Be a Longhorn
Parchment (a college comparison website)
Zinch (for scholarships)
Cappex (for more scholarships)
I have discreetly thrown away the mail yesterday from colleges he did not seem interested in and I do not want him to go to. Sorry Santa Clara, Tulane and SMU. God help me. Don't tell Steve.
At the same time I'm texting some good friends about gpa's, scholarship essays, schools, portfolios, etc.
Just how much do we hold his hand, and how much to let him fly free his junior year? I feel frozen. I need to let it go. No, I need to hold on. No...both?
In one hour this is what's running through my mind:
Class ranking, transcripts, PSAT scores, SAT scores, ACT scores. College applications. Some of his friends have already been accepted as juniors. Find the best scholarships. Pick a major. Graphic Design - is it? Art school? How's the portfolio?
Driving lessons, soccer, yearbook, orthodontic check-ups (do these ever end??), youth group, weekly discipling meet-ups. Referring to driving lessons, when is a car being bought? By who? Will that lead to a summer job? Where?
He seems overwhelmed. (Or is it me?) A counselor? Who? Where?
I am doing deep breathing exercises around the clock. And we have a few other things going on in life, other decisions to make. Another child to raise, for instance...
I am certain that I will see the LORD's goodness
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and courageous.
Wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27: 13,14
In all this...man, I really hope to stop and listen for the Lord. He doesn't give a quick facebook response or like to my prayers or thoughts all of the time. Even when I'm constantly checking on him. I asked for a verse about something and he went Ezekiel on me which stopped me in my tracks. As if to say...WAIT.
I came across this verse two days ago and have been pondering it:
Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts. 1 Corinthians 14:1
I want my boys to hear from Jesus. I want his voice to be louder than any parent, relative, friend, college recruiter, teacher or pastor.
You listen to someone you value. I want them to pursue love, and to find Jesus in that pursuit. To really want the spiritual gifts and callings; to know they are the only ones, the exact only ones who can do what they are supposed to do. They are the only ones thinking the thoughts in their heads. Their DNA is singular, outrageously unique.
I want them to be content in knowing that no matter what, they have pursued love and gained for it. And in gaining for it, have known a life that takes their breath away with it's gloriousness.
The bright pursuit of Jesus is a narrow path, and I pray each step they take is illuminated by his love and navigated by his fierce wisdom. Stone by stone. Rain or shine.
My steps are on Your paths;
my feet have not slipped.
I call on You, God,
because You will answer me:
listen closely to me;
hear what I say.
Psalms 17: 5,6 (HCSB)
Be a Longhorn
Parchment (a college comparison website)
Zinch (for scholarships)
Cappex (for more scholarships)
I have discreetly thrown away the mail yesterday from colleges he did not seem interested in and I do not want him to go to. Sorry Santa Clara, Tulane and SMU. God help me. Don't tell Steve.
At the same time I'm texting some good friends about gpa's, scholarship essays, schools, portfolios, etc.
Just how much do we hold his hand, and how much to let him fly free his junior year? I feel frozen. I need to let it go. No, I need to hold on. No...both?
In one hour this is what's running through my mind:
Class ranking, transcripts, PSAT scores, SAT scores, ACT scores. College applications. Some of his friends have already been accepted as juniors. Find the best scholarships. Pick a major. Graphic Design - is it? Art school? How's the portfolio?
Driving lessons, soccer, yearbook, orthodontic check-ups (do these ever end??), youth group, weekly discipling meet-ups. Referring to driving lessons, when is a car being bought? By who? Will that lead to a summer job? Where?
He seems overwhelmed. (Or is it me?) A counselor? Who? Where?
I am doing deep breathing exercises around the clock. And we have a few other things going on in life, other decisions to make. Another child to raise, for instance...
I am certain that I will see the LORD's goodness
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and courageous.
Wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27: 13,14
In all this...man, I really hope to stop and listen for the Lord. He doesn't give a quick facebook response or like to my prayers or thoughts all of the time. Even when I'm constantly checking on him. I asked for a verse about something and he went Ezekiel on me which stopped me in my tracks. As if to say...WAIT.
I came across this verse two days ago and have been pondering it:
Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts. 1 Corinthians 14:1
I want my boys to hear from Jesus. I want his voice to be louder than any parent, relative, friend, college recruiter, teacher or pastor.
You listen to someone you value. I want them to pursue love, and to find Jesus in that pursuit. To really want the spiritual gifts and callings; to know they are the only ones, the exact only ones who can do what they are supposed to do. They are the only ones thinking the thoughts in their heads. Their DNA is singular, outrageously unique.
I want them to be content in knowing that no matter what, they have pursued love and gained for it. And in gaining for it, have known a life that takes their breath away with it's gloriousness.
The bright pursuit of Jesus is a narrow path, and I pray each step they take is illuminated by his love and navigated by his fierce wisdom. Stone by stone. Rain or shine.
My steps are on Your paths;
my feet have not slipped.
I call on You, God,
because You will answer me:
listen closely to me;
hear what I say.
Psalms 17: 5,6 (HCSB)