i will go through this valley if You want me to
Blessed is the woman whose strength is in You,
Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
As I pass through the Valley of Baca,
I make it a spring;
The rain also covers it with pools.
I go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion.
-(personalized from Psalm 84)
These last few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. To say the Lord is with me would be an understatement. I have never felt closer to Him.
If you've ever been in the valley, you understand. We all go pass through it, in one form or another, for one reason or another, and maybe more than once. I know the Lord has brought me here for healing, and to reveal even more of His great love for me. To make me fearless of everything but our Holy God.
I have had to choose Him over and over, His love for me over the lies that I have believed. I have had to cling to His truth as never before and what He says about me, versus what the enemy and man would say about me. Myself included in the man part.
I thought I knew who I was in Christ. I think I carried a shadow of it, but never the true person. Now as my identity is being thrown off and a new one is being made in His image, I don't really recognize myself. That's a good thing. I think I will still have a sense of humor and like to write though. Just a guess. My eyes are still blue, and hair color is always negotiable.
Through the holidays, we have been surrounded by news that continues to reaffirm just how temporary our lives on this earth are. And in it's searing reality of just how unreal this current life is, it's given me a joy of the knowledge of what we have coming in the reality that is Heaven. Many of you know, Alden, the little girl I came to love and pray for lost her battle with leukemia shortly before Christmas. I choose joy in knowing she is dancing with Jesus and that He is loving being able to touch her precious freckled face. I chose joy today as I drove down the highway and saw a billboard resurrected in her honor, her smile beaming, knowing she is in Paradise permanently. I grieve but it will not have me. I choose Life.
Steve's mom found out the day before Christmas she has breast cancer. We choose joy in knowing they caught it early and she will maybe not even need chemotherapy. An intercessor who is one of our dear family friends, and who has prayed probably more than any other person I know for our family was just diagnosed with cancer of the stomach lining. The news that brings you to your knees and you say even in this Lord, I will choose your peace and good plan. And we will fight it all the way on our knees.
I choose joy knowing the Lord is using my brother in prison, as he now leads worship for so many and daily has numerous opportunities to teach and share the Gospel. We rejoice that on Christmas Day he lead worship for 6 hours (not by choice, but by God's choosing). Even when the news came that his family was not able to see him that day after waiting for several hours because of so many trying to see loved ones. God will redeem, and He will do it with a vengeance. Oh how He loves us.
None of this is why I'm in this valley. The Lord has been very merciful and gracious to me. No, it's all been news that has comes to me in the valley and strengthens my resolve to seek His face alone. There are always choices. I will always choose Jesus. As darkness surrounds, there are rainbow flashes as I look up that remind me the War has been won. Permanently. Victoriously. Oh, He is training my hands for battle.
The ground is fertile here in the Valley. I don't think I will ever feel closer to Jesus on this side of Heaven. He has come running and wrapped me in His arms when I call to Him. So I surrender my plans to climb out of it, and wait on His timing to go through it. I will get all the way through it, and I am so thankful for the prayers of so many pushing me through. This I am confident of, and so very blessed in. It's all about Him, He is my focus, He is my prayer. He is my breath.
O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer,
Give ear, O God of Jacob!
O God, behold our shield,
And look upon the face of Your anointed.
For a day in Your courts is better than
a thousand.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the
house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The LORD will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He uphold
From those who walk uprightly.
O LORD of hosts,
Blessed is the woman who trusts in You!
from Psalm 84
Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
As I pass through the Valley of Baca,
I make it a spring;
The rain also covers it with pools.
I go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion.
-(personalized from Psalm 84)
These last few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. To say the Lord is with me would be an understatement. I have never felt closer to Him.
If you've ever been in the valley, you understand. We all go pass through it, in one form or another, for one reason or another, and maybe more than once. I know the Lord has brought me here for healing, and to reveal even more of His great love for me. To make me fearless of everything but our Holy God.
I have had to choose Him over and over, His love for me over the lies that I have believed. I have had to cling to His truth as never before and what He says about me, versus what the enemy and man would say about me. Myself included in the man part.
I thought I knew who I was in Christ. I think I carried a shadow of it, but never the true person. Now as my identity is being thrown off and a new one is being made in His image, I don't really recognize myself. That's a good thing. I think I will still have a sense of humor and like to write though. Just a guess. My eyes are still blue, and hair color is always negotiable.
Through the holidays, we have been surrounded by news that continues to reaffirm just how temporary our lives on this earth are. And in it's searing reality of just how unreal this current life is, it's given me a joy of the knowledge of what we have coming in the reality that is Heaven. Many of you know, Alden, the little girl I came to love and pray for lost her battle with leukemia shortly before Christmas. I choose joy in knowing she is dancing with Jesus and that He is loving being able to touch her precious freckled face. I chose joy today as I drove down the highway and saw a billboard resurrected in her honor, her smile beaming, knowing she is in Paradise permanently. I grieve but it will not have me. I choose Life.
Steve's mom found out the day before Christmas she has breast cancer. We choose joy in knowing they caught it early and she will maybe not even need chemotherapy. An intercessor who is one of our dear family friends, and who has prayed probably more than any other person I know for our family was just diagnosed with cancer of the stomach lining. The news that brings you to your knees and you say even in this Lord, I will choose your peace and good plan. And we will fight it all the way on our knees.
I choose joy knowing the Lord is using my brother in prison, as he now leads worship for so many and daily has numerous opportunities to teach and share the Gospel. We rejoice that on Christmas Day he lead worship for 6 hours (not by choice, but by God's choosing). Even when the news came that his family was not able to see him that day after waiting for several hours because of so many trying to see loved ones. God will redeem, and He will do it with a vengeance. Oh how He loves us.
None of this is why I'm in this valley. The Lord has been very merciful and gracious to me. No, it's all been news that has comes to me in the valley and strengthens my resolve to seek His face alone. There are always choices. I will always choose Jesus. As darkness surrounds, there are rainbow flashes as I look up that remind me the War has been won. Permanently. Victoriously. Oh, He is training my hands for battle.
The ground is fertile here in the Valley. I don't think I will ever feel closer to Jesus on this side of Heaven. He has come running and wrapped me in His arms when I call to Him. So I surrender my plans to climb out of it, and wait on His timing to go through it. I will get all the way through it, and I am so thankful for the prayers of so many pushing me through. This I am confident of, and so very blessed in. It's all about Him, He is my focus, He is my prayer. He is my breath.
O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer,
Give ear, O God of Jacob!
O God, behold our shield,
And look upon the face of Your anointed.
For a day in Your courts is better than
a thousand.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the
house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The LORD will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He uphold
From those who walk uprightly.
O LORD of hosts,
Blessed is the woman who trusts in You!
from Psalm 84