the Father's heart
“For you are a holy people to the LORD your God; the LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth. The LORD did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples; but because the LORD loves you, and because He would keep the oath which He swore to your fathers, the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the house of bondage, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. “Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments... Deuteronomy 7:6-9 (NKJV)
Ben, our son who is quite possibly singlehandedly keeping the creators of Bibleman videos in business, comes down the stairs carrying his Superman bank, jangling change. He smiles at me and says, "Do I have enough money for a toy?"
Ben and I are planning on spending Saturday morning together, just the two of us. His earnings consist of 5 dollars, which he's made by going to the gym with me and drawing comic books. I pay Syd and Ben a dollar every time they go to the gym with me in the summer, money well spent.
Ben brings me 2 comic books he created that he is selling. "Do you want Batman or X-men?" Batman, I say. "That will cost 1,000 dollars or 10 pieces of money." I tell him I don't have that kind of cash and will give him a dollar. "You can't afford these comic books, I'll bring some others," he says, leaving the room. He comes back with an identical X-men book, and I buy it for a dollar.
We are off to Wal-Mart for our morning together. I won't lie to you, I find Wal-Mart oppressive. I hate going there. But I have some stuff to get and Ben loves the toys there. As we walk through the parking lot Ben asks if we can look at the toys first. I begin to say no, but today I want to say yes to Ben as much as possible. I have learned as a parent there are so many opportunities to say no and I want Ben to hear "yes" and "I love you" over and over. I want to show him the Father's love for him. We want him to know he is a special treasure, chosen by God.
"Isn't this great?" I say, "just you and me, shopping at Wal-Mart, not doing homeschooling." Something we both dread. Somewhere in the homeschooling curriculum there should be a cautionary note that says "parents and children with similar propensities to skip out on school should not attempt this method of schooling."
Ben is now practically hopping with joy to the toy aisle, showing why his main virtue given to him by his kindergarten teacher was contentment. Give this child a 2-dollar action figure and he is just joy-filled. Which makes me joy-filled. We look around for quite a while at Spiderman, the Star Wars figures armed with light sabers, the lego sets; until finally he settles on a soldier set ready for an "oceanic recon mission." I'm wondering how 3 soldiers are going to manage this with one set of scuba gear between them all, but I stay silent.
After he gets his toy he asks how many things are on my list. I know he's calculating in his head when we will check-out and the opening of the toy can begin. As we are checking out I notice the McDonald's and know he will want to go there, and I usually say no. But today it's yes. I say yes when he ask for a happy meal breakfast and yes to sitting at the high table surrounded by bar stools where we can watch people go by. I watch him as he reads his happy meal bag, with one chubby hand on his toy, and I wish he could stay little forever. We sit there as though we had all the time in the world, as if we were sitting on a park bench, not a Wal-Mart in Buda.
I tell him how proud I am of him, how great he is going to do in first grade. He wrinkles his nose at me and looks away - yet I know he likes to hear it. I ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, because I never tire of hearing his changing answers. "A scientist, not a mad scientist like those dummies, just a normal one," he says. "Can we do some experiments when we get home out of that book? You know the one where we make a phone out of cups and string - do you have cups and string? I like that one." I start to tell him that he should ask his dad but I catch myself and tell him yes.
Every so often I run into older women, strangers who smile at my boys and tell me they grow up so fast and to enjoy these years. It brings tears to my eyes everytime, because I know I'll probably be doing the same thing in the not so far away future. I want to be present in their lives, I don't want to be a mom who is around but busy with her own life, her own thoughts. I sometimes feel inadequate as a mother, but I rest in the fact that our boys belong to God, that He loves them more than we possibly can, and His love never ever fails.
Ben, our son who is quite possibly singlehandedly keeping the creators of Bibleman videos in business, comes down the stairs carrying his Superman bank, jangling change. He smiles at me and says, "Do I have enough money for a toy?"
Ben and I are planning on spending Saturday morning together, just the two of us. His earnings consist of 5 dollars, which he's made by going to the gym with me and drawing comic books. I pay Syd and Ben a dollar every time they go to the gym with me in the summer, money well spent.
Ben brings me 2 comic books he created that he is selling. "Do you want Batman or X-men?" Batman, I say. "That will cost 1,000 dollars or 10 pieces of money." I tell him I don't have that kind of cash and will give him a dollar. "You can't afford these comic books, I'll bring some others," he says, leaving the room. He comes back with an identical X-men book, and I buy it for a dollar.
We are off to Wal-Mart for our morning together. I won't lie to you, I find Wal-Mart oppressive. I hate going there. But I have some stuff to get and Ben loves the toys there. As we walk through the parking lot Ben asks if we can look at the toys first. I begin to say no, but today I want to say yes to Ben as much as possible. I have learned as a parent there are so many opportunities to say no and I want Ben to hear "yes" and "I love you" over and over. I want to show him the Father's love for him. We want him to know he is a special treasure, chosen by God.
"Isn't this great?" I say, "just you and me, shopping at Wal-Mart, not doing homeschooling." Something we both dread. Somewhere in the homeschooling curriculum there should be a cautionary note that says "parents and children with similar propensities to skip out on school should not attempt this method of schooling."
Ben is now practically hopping with joy to the toy aisle, showing why his main virtue given to him by his kindergarten teacher was contentment. Give this child a 2-dollar action figure and he is just joy-filled. Which makes me joy-filled. We look around for quite a while at Spiderman, the Star Wars figures armed with light sabers, the lego sets; until finally he settles on a soldier set ready for an "oceanic recon mission." I'm wondering how 3 soldiers are going to manage this with one set of scuba gear between them all, but I stay silent.
After he gets his toy he asks how many things are on my list. I know he's calculating in his head when we will check-out and the opening of the toy can begin. As we are checking out I notice the McDonald's and know he will want to go there, and I usually say no. But today it's yes. I say yes when he ask for a happy meal breakfast and yes to sitting at the high table surrounded by bar stools where we can watch people go by. I watch him as he reads his happy meal bag, with one chubby hand on his toy, and I wish he could stay little forever. We sit there as though we had all the time in the world, as if we were sitting on a park bench, not a Wal-Mart in Buda.
I tell him how proud I am of him, how great he is going to do in first grade. He wrinkles his nose at me and looks away - yet I know he likes to hear it. I ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, because I never tire of hearing his changing answers. "A scientist, not a mad scientist like those dummies, just a normal one," he says. "Can we do some experiments when we get home out of that book? You know the one where we make a phone out of cups and string - do you have cups and string? I like that one." I start to tell him that he should ask his dad but I catch myself and tell him yes.
Every so often I run into older women, strangers who smile at my boys and tell me they grow up so fast and to enjoy these years. It brings tears to my eyes everytime, because I know I'll probably be doing the same thing in the not so far away future. I want to be present in their lives, I don't want to be a mom who is around but busy with her own life, her own thoughts. I sometimes feel inadequate as a mother, but I rest in the fact that our boys belong to God, that He loves them more than we possibly can, and His love never ever fails.
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems, And lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of rubies, Your gates of crystal, And all your walls of precious stones. All your children shall be taught by the LORD, And great shall be the peace of your children. Isaiah 54: 11b-13 (NKJV)